Zen and cows

I dream of elephants and hippos when I’m happy. I guess for me pachyderms are synonymous with joy, or maybe it’s just that they’re big, and when I’m happy I think of big things.

They’re not huggable. They’re dangerous, in real life, but when I’m happy, I dream of living with a small elephant, and sharing a cup of tea. Or having a hippo in my bathtub. They are round and always smiling.

Yesterday I woke up having dreamt of elephants. It was not a nice day, really, kind of gray and damp. It stayed damp all day long. But I was happy.

Contrast a few days later. My partner and I both slept badly, not enough. The weather was beautiful, but it was like we couldn’t see it. He had things going on in his head that I didn’t know about (not a mind reader) and I was unable to figure out how to react. We fought, it sucked, but the weather was beautiful and there were so many things to be thankful for. However, now I have a sort of sad hangover.

Maybe cows are better than hippos and elephants in my head. Foro might represent non-attachment for me. Not being so up and happy, not being so down and unhappy. Feel both good and bad things, but don’t try to hang on to them. I need to let go of this sadness.