Something is bothering me.
I moved into my village five years ago. I was getting a divorce and had no friends there yet, and even though I loved the place I was moving to, it was still lonely. I had to get used to a long commute and make a lot of decisions as a single person again. I wasn’t used to it and it was a confusing and hard time.
I had a nice conversation with someone on the train once. He gets on at the same stop as I do. I’d seen him a few times, and learned that he was married with a few kids and he seemed like an interesting person. I talked his ear off once and that….was the end of it. After that, he cut me short, ignored me, and was as rude as possible to make sure that I got the point that he didn’t want to speak to me ever again, I would never get to meet his wife or children, and I wasn’t deserving of a new acquaintance in the village.
Now I see him around, because he’s still my neighbor, and I want to tell him off. I have friends and acquaintances in the village these days and I feel just fine without him and his family.
I want to say something to him but I don’t know what, exactly. Something like, “I hope you don’t look yourself in the mirror and think that you see a nice person in there, because you’re kind of a jerk,” or “I hope that you understand that you were unkind to me when all I wanted was to make an acquaintance in the village.”
I wasn’t looking for friends, but acquaintances, people to say hello to and maybe meet with from time to time. I met a young woman and her partner, and while I really like her, the age difference between us was too much for real friendship. However, when I run across I her I love to get her news. There are a few others who’ve become friends and some who I find a bit strange and try to avoid. Unlike the man I’m talking about, I’m always civil to them and it’s no skin off my nose to talk to them from time to time.
I’ve resolved to say something to him if I run across him again. I think I feel like he thinks he got one over on me, by his superior look when he sees me. I think I will be very kind to him, greet him with a big smile and explain how he made me feel and that it was very unkind of him to do that.
I think that unkind people sometimes just get away with it because no one will confront them. They go around feeling good about themselves, and even see themselves as good, kind people, even when they are hurtful and selfish. It’s partly for me that I’d like to say something, because it would be good for me to stand up for myself, and partly for him, because I would like him to understand that the way he behaved towards me was not very nice.
I think it’s like taking on the popular kids at school. I don’t need to take him down a peg because I really don’t care that much, but I shouldn’t let people treat me badly.
I’ve talked it over with Foro and he agrees with me, but he’s always on my side.
Well said, Foro.