Nightmares

I had a dream that I was in a hotel somewhere, on a mountain. I wanted to go from the main area, where there was the reception and a restaurant, to where the rooms were, and it involved going outside passing over a small creek. It was raining like crazy. In my dream, the creek was in the process of flooding, and before I could get across, the whole side of the hill was covered in mud.

Many guests were on the “wrong side” of the mudslide, away from the rooms, but it was also possible to leave the hotel from there. In my dream, I saw the manager quietly slipping by, and realized that she was going to take her car and leave us there, and that she couldn’t fit all of us in her car anyway. (There were about twenty of us). She was obviously afraid that the whole hotel was going to be stuck in a mudslide or a flood and that we’d all wind up washed away.

In my dream I asked someone to show me where they kept food stocks in the kitchen. I decided stock up and then go up the hill to where there was a watch tower. The tower was high up, and my reasoning was that the higher you go, the less water could accumulate and the less chance there was for flooding. I started to wake up just as I was organizing this, and, as happens in dreams, I started to control the outcome.

I organized a group that wanted to go up, and some people didn’t want to leave the reception area stayed there.

By the end of the dream, a mudslide took out much of the hotel reception area. It looked like the people inside should have survived, but I was already higher up on the mountain in a hut next to the watch tower.

I know this dream came from reading the news before going to bed. There was a flood in India, and I hadn’t wanted to look at the images but they were there all the same in my head. I also know that this dream is because of COVID, which is hasn’t abated yet and seems to be mutating to get worse.

In any case, the dream woke me up, and my sleep was not particularly good after that. I realized that we’ve all been living under COVID tension for almost a year now. It’s tiring, and my capacity to “deal” with it is lessened. I just can’t listen to more bad news.

So it’s again a time to remind myself of all the good things in my life. COVID-wise, I have a job and I get to go to work and see colleagues and students. I’m healthy. No one I know has suffered too much from the lock-downs, except a book store owner who’s been suffering for years with competition from online retailers, so while it’s worse now, it’s nothing new. There are vaccines coming which means that many people will be safer soon. While we are tired of all the rules, we are used to them now and they’re easy to follow. I hate wearing a mask as much as anyone, but, like, whatever. The idea is to “flatten the curve” which never meant that we all weren’t going to get sick at some point, but just not everyone at the same time, and that’s working (at least where I live).

There are also so many things I can do, that I like doing, that aren’t things that spread COVID. Cross country skiing, hiking, reading, writing, drawing, cooking for my partner, studying for the online classes I’m taking. And at the moment I can’t say that I’m thrilled about work (it’s work, after all), but I have a job that I mostly enjoy and I get to go the school and have an almost normal life.

So, yeah, I miss going to a restaurant from time to time, I miss live music, I miss seeing art, I miss inviting over friends for dinner, I missing swimming (especially because there’s a sauna in the pool in my village), I miss going to see my family in the US. I miss sports events with spectators cheering in the stands.

But it is the way it is. It’s not because we don’t like something that it will go away.

So what do I do with a nightmare? I curl up with Foro, and remind myself that I’m lucky.

With a sleeping Foro by my side, nightmares go away

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: