Duck Butt

Ducks, when they eat, sometimes dip their heads into the water and munch on whatever it is they munch on. It is colossally unattractive. I call that “duck butt” and it makes me laugh every time, but it’s really just me. (What do you call an inside joke where you’re the only one laughing?)

It’s not a thing, but I desperately want it to be a thing. It’s duck butt. It’s being so into your food that you don’t even see a boat about to run you over. It’s probably how the females wind up mating with some guy they never even looked at before (“Wait, who are you again?” she says “Sorry, just saw your butt.”) It’s just a girl duck, poking her butt up in front of a boy duck, asking him to love her. (Or so he thinks, anyway.)

In the duck’s mind, the world might be going to hell but is that a a bit of yummy plant down there? The world will end while half the ducks of the world have their head underwater, not even seeing it coming. Much like half the humans.

Swans do it, too, but it’s much less satisfying to say “swan butt” than it is to say “duck butt”. If you try it out, it’s as much fun to say “duck butt” as it is to say “pickle Rick.” Let’s go! Duck butt!

This could be a post about our blindness in the pursuit of our desires. This could be really deep, a metaphor for how our hunger leaves us vulnerable while ignoring the dangers of the world. Or it could just be making fun of ducks. Take your pick.