The Beating Heart of Love

There’s a rather horrible phrase in French: “Bats ta femme, si tu ne sais pas pourquoi, elle, elle le sait” (Beat your wife, if you don’t know why, she does). I thought, the first time I heard it, that it can be understood on two levels. Obviously, the idea is that your wife must have done something wrong and even if you don’t know what it is yourself, you can still punish her.

However, it can also be how women can always find a reason for their abuse, even if they’ve done nothing “wrong”. “He’s only angry because I came home late from work” or “He only hits me when I’ve been mouthing off”, like anyone hitting anyone should ever be excused.

I started thinking, however, how would that phrase work with other verbs? “Love your wife/husband, if you don’t know why, she/he does.” The wife/husband has done so many things for you that you never notice, so you should love her/him for all the things ones does in a relationship for another person without even thinking about it.

The best is “Hug your wife/husband, if you don’t know why, she/he does.” Hugs are better than love. Okay, they’re about even. Hmmm, no, yes, I don’t know, but I think hugs win.

Or put it this way, I can get hugs from Foro, but he’s a stuffed animal, so the love is a bit one sided. (I’m silently mouthing the words “Foro is an inanimate object” but quietly, so he can’t hear.) Foro gives great hugs though.