The absolute worst thing about this situation, for me personally, is that I worry for my friends and family.
My step-sister is a nurse in hospital in the US, and from what I’ve read, they are scarily unprepared there. Not enough masks, not enough beds. I’m scared about the situation there, but I want so very much to be wrong. It’s like watching a train drive off a bridge, but maybe there will be some Hollywood miracle, and they’ll land in cotton, or turn the track into a slide that swoops them down, then swoops back up again and lies them down on a new track. I want to be wrong about my fears.
I also have a friend with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, after a MRSA infection years ago that finished in pneumonia. If she gets COVID-19, she’s going to be in big trouble. I don’t think she’d make it.
And I don’t know what to do about the worry I have. It’s hard to make it into something positive. I guess that’s okay. That’s another lesson to be learned about life; sure, when you are sad or scared, it’s best to try to not to let it pull you down. However, some situations are really sad and really scary, and ignoring or forcing down those emotions is not useful or healthy, either.
I have to figure out how to stay in a balance between feeling negative emotions and respecting them, but not letting them take over. Non-attachment.
So I take today as it is. It is sunny. I will go do some meditation and yoga now, then try to go for a walk in the sun. It’s a beautiful day, objectively speaking. It’s a bit cold, though. There’s a bite in the air.
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