This is my commute:

I will not say my ‘owner’ (because I am not owned, and nothing is really owned in this world, anyway). She is the person who picked me off a rack of other cows in a shop. She had other hopes for me in the beginning. She wanted to share me with her students, but they behaved so badly on a school trip that she kept me. In spite of my inherent cuteness, I represented something sad to her then. That was my first trip. I went to Vienna.

But then I was there when her new boyfriend was being silly, and she used me to bonk him over the head. I became their mascot, and travel between them, or with them.

So she is not my ‘owner’, but more of a friend who needs some help from time to time. I do this by being extraordinarily cute (which cheers most people up, sort of like a puppy video that doesn’t ever need to be charged and never has problems loading.) So I’m there to help her.

When you go see a therapist, mostly you know the ‘right’ answer to a problem and you just need to have a space to figure it out. My friend talks to me, and I just sit there being adorable and then she gets it, whatever the solution is to her question. I’m very efficient and don’t cost 250 bucks an hour. And I’m very good, because I am one non-judgmental cow.

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