I have a new super power. I can now become invisible. Watch me. (Okay, imagine this, I’ve just pulled out a ball of wool and started crocheting. Whoop, there it is…she’s gone.)
I’ve got greying hair that I don’t bother dying. I wear cardigans. This makes me almost invisible, but if I start crocheting in public it’s like I’ve got an invisibility cloak. No Harry Potter needed.
I’ve been super stressed all day. In about an hour I’ll be presenting a workshop at Metropol Con Berlin. I’m afraid no one will show up. I’m also afraid that someone will show up. So I’m doing my back-up/stay calm things. Crocheting and writing. Crocheting was giving me a hand cramp so now I’m back to writing. Uses both hands more.
I just bought the wool. I’ve been so nervous and not knowing what to do with myself and, like, there’s a wool store around the corner from the sci-fi con.
I’m trying to be reasonable but I haven’t really been able to eat all day. I’ve kept myself to two coffees, no more. I’ve eaten fruit (fructose and fiber and some vitamins, so not the worst.) I may go out for dinner on my own, but there’s also an event after mine which could be fun, so I’ll probably stick around here.
Sigh. Why do I do such things to myself? It’s also that I’ve finished my novel after four years of work and want to present it. So that’s part of it. It’s also that I want to start a bit of a conversation about how to make the world a tiny bit better, if possible. I have one or two ideas.
(One day later) The conference went well. I was able to present my ideas professionally. I picked a few people and made eye contact. I kept to my script but was able to do a lot of it from memory.
I talked about some utopian novels but tied them back to utopian experiments in “the New World” (mostly Canada, but also the US), talking about a Welsh industrialist named Robert Owen, and an Edward Bellamy. Those, no one had heard of, so that was nice to share interesting stuff with people. There were other presentations and panels about my subject, but I can objectively say mine was good, and as good as some. Not that it’s a competition, but I just want to assess if I had done a respectable job. I did!
Heading home now, and after a weekend in Berlin, with city things and city energy, to go up and bivouac in the mountains before going climbing tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing the sun rise in the hills.
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