Speechless

Not a metaphor, I’ve had a flu or a bug or something and I’ve lost my voice. I can’t even force something out, everything is just a whisper. I feel tired, but not exceptionally so. I mean, I could sleep, but I could most of the time anyway. Nothing new.

I sound like a spy.

The terrible thing is people have to lean in to hear me, and I’m sick so they should be leaning away. I can’t even telephone in to work to say that I’m sick, and I had to stick the mic right up to my mouth to whisper in to get a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. (It’s always better to send in a medical certificate for my job when I’m sick.)

I was trying to joke that I was so happy that Austria won the Eurovision song contest that I lost my voice. Alas, no.

Just the flu.

I’m wondering if this is my body being metaphorical on me? Can it do that? I mean, a while back I was really upset about the US elections and I “couldn’t digest anything”. So I gave up my passport and now I “don’t have a voice”. What’s next? Am I going to have a finger cut off because I can’t remember where I saw someone, or something else is bothering me? So I “can’t put my finger on it”? Will my nose get me into trouble? Will I suddenly gain two left feet? Or will they be cold every time I don’t do something? Or will I really become all elbows? Will I wag my tongue? Put my ear out? (where, exactly, on the balcony?) Will my heart break?

I know that I’m made up of my bits and parts, but I didn’t know that someday they might go all metaphoric on me.