The Problem with Kids These Days

So I’m definitely an “old”, but some things are the same as ever. I’ve just spent a half a week with some very nice kids/young people. They’re mostly 16 to 17, and mostly really decent people. I just wish I could do something about the divide between us.

For one thing, not all cultures make such a difference between the “olds” and the young. In some places, young people integrate into the society without much of a fuss. That said, I often get this feeling that I’m at cross purposes with the kids these days.

I’ve written about this before; one one end, kids want to be left alone with their friends, their thoughts and their music, and on the other they are angry because the adults don’t understand them. But they don’t want to talk to us, so how the ç%&! are we supposed to know what’s going on with them?

And I’ve also written about some of the “whys” of this before. When children are very little, the parents give them food before they even know they’re hungry, and dress them in warm clothes before they know they’re cold, so they get the idea that the adults in their lives are omnipotent, know all and see all. But I mean, we can manage the food and clothing stuff, but when the kids is asking themselves, “Is it weird that I’m attracted to my best friend?” or “I’m in pain but I can’t really identify what hurts in my life” I mean, wtf, how are the adults supposed to know what’s going on and what to do? We muddled through when we were their age and one thing that can be said definitely to have improved, today we do have adults asking themselves the question “how can I help the kids” much more than before. In the past, I think there was much more concern for discipline, and keeping kids in order rather than finding out why they might be behaving badly.

I certainly remember how I was treated in my tiny primary school. It was a kindergarten through eighth grade school, one of the last that mixed so many ages together. My step-father was a catastrophe (violent, selling drugs etc) and I was “blamed” in many ways by the school. I was going to turn out to be no good because he was no good. I guess there’s reasons for that, experience probably told them that that’s usually the case: bad parents, bad kids. I just remember those children’s stories where “school was a refuge” or a safe place, and it really wasn’t. School was just another battleground, added to the one at home. Thank goodness I made two friends who I’m still in touch with today.

I do remember learning things in that school, though. It was the unusual classes that stuck out, and they were very good about not separating boys and girls too much. We all did shop and we all did home ec. So we all cooked together, and I made both a pillow in home ec and a saddle stand/towel rack in shop. We dissected frogs. We sang some beautiful songs. I started learning some German. I did track and field and was very successful at the long jump, and even put a record up on the record wall that lasted a year or two. I learned I was good at upper body strength and hung onto a bar for a long time in those physical aptitude tests. I remember learning how to deal with fractions there and being pretty impressed by myself.

I’m in a bit of a crisis today because I’m less and less convinced of the utility of my job as a teacher. I learned a certain way, but I don’t know whether that was a good way. The “olds” today are completely useless in managing the world that’s going to affect the lives of the young people today. AI is going to upend jobs and society, and we might be going towards a much more divisive and possibly violent time. They’re going to have (even more) Russian bot factories spreading disinformation, more scams, more distrust, and maybe many more kids will be affected by wars. I get that they’re stressed out. I get that they don’t know what direction their lives are going to take because really, who knows what this particular future is going to bring. What I don’t get is the consumer mentality amongst some of the young people, the need for constant pleasure, constant entertainment (and constant sugar, among other things). The world’s falling apart (definitely the “olds” are to be blamed) but a huge hunk of the kids just want to stay home and play video games. There’s a tornado coming and they just want to keep tapping away on their Playstation until the power goes out.

Anywho, I did meet some really interesting kids. One is interested in fossils, and wanted to go to the natural history museum. He was my fav, I think. That’s what kids need today more than ever; they need to be curious, and want to get into things. That’s maybe the problem with kids these days. Social media is in competition with natural curiosity, and it’s winning in a big way. Don’t think, buy this and you’ll be happy. And when you’re no longer happy with that, buy this other thing. It’s all about input and not about production (and by production I mean drawing a picture instead of just looking at one, that sort of thing.)

In any case, Foro produces joy. He’s silly and soft and kinda dopey looking, and he’s into fossils, too. That’s why we get along so well.