Family

Family can be who you choose to hang on to. I’ve known many people who collect, and then discard, friends. (I know this because I was collected then traded off at some point.) I have very rarely let go of friends on my own.

There are one or two painful exceptions, where we’ve changed in different ways and the divide became too much. There’s a woman who, when I see her, I say to myself that I still love her, but then she’ll manage to say something awful and dismissive within a short conversation and I’ll say to myself, “…and that’s why we’re no longer friends.” There is also another woman who I also still love, but who can also dish out some really mean things (I think because she can also be very unhappy) and I didn’t have a big enough heart to accept the yo-yo. It doesn’t make me not love her and love all her friendship brought to me over the years, but for the moment at least, it’s too hurtful to be friends.

This weekend I’m visiting a friend who I’ve known for nearly forty years. I’ve known his partner for almost that long, and their daughter all her life. They are people who are part of my anchor in the world. I don’t see them often but just knowing they are there is wonderful. I’m am grateful.

Family can be who you decided to hold on to. Every family has that weird old (enter relation here : uncle, cousin, sibling) who has just become so bristly that you can’t see them without getting poked, but it doesn’t mean you don’t love them. For the friends who’ve become family, it’s the same thing. Sometimes we need a break, but love is never really a faucet that goes on and off. It always flows, but sometimes the river changes its course.

The only exception is Foro, who I will always love because he reminds me of how silly it is to hang on to a stuffed cow at my age.

(and a quick post script. Pro Specia Rara — https://www.prospecierara.ch/— informed me that the cow I sponsored, Fiona, has died, and they will no longer be offering specific cows to sponsor. I will see what I want to do next with that. I’ll still support Pro Specia Rara, but maybe I’ll do something more with an animal rescue organization. More info to follow!)