A Feast of Words

I have an idea for the perfect restaurant, and a way for writers to make a living while plying their craft, and maybe give work to a budding actor or two as well.

Here’s the start: first you will arrive and eat a nutritional mush and drink water. It will be perfectly constructed so that you will not be hungry or thirsty for the actual meal. All of your nutritional needs will have been met in the most banal, efficient way possible, so you can move on the the main courses.

Then you will be seated. In front of you lies an empty plate, and at each table sits a skilled writer and actor. This writer will describe your choice of food to you in such a way that you can taste it, smell it, touch it. The voice describing your meal will add depth and love to everything that (isn’t) passing your lips. Each bite can be slightly different, and as a complement there will be the exact, ideal wine.

Imagine the scene in Ratatouille where Aton Ego is brought back to his mother’s kitchen at his first bite, imagine the first ice cream that you ate, that wound up smeared all over your face because you couldn’t quite keep your joy in check enough to get the cone into your mouth. Imagine the smell of simmering vegetables, bell peppers and tomatoes, maybe a zucchini, with just a hint of spices. The sauce is rich, a hint of cream and maybe mint?

Maybe in this virtual restaurant, the chef, the artist, the creator of these wonders, wants you to taste something you can’t imagine. The writer will guide you there, into the world of mashuas, or durian fruits, or thousand year old eggs. You could taste the meat of the dodo, or move on from the real world into tastes and flavors that have never existed, or could never exist. The only limit is the writer’s skill, and the actor’s voice, to help the client move into a new world better than anything that could ever really be created.

And the best part is, everything is organic and local, and can be recorded to be played again and again, and to allow everyone to experience these wonderful meals. The reason to go to a restaurant will be for your, individual, best meal ever. Not everyone likes the same things, so the writers will cater to your love of salt or bitterness. Our tastes change, so you could go again and again, and never have the same experience.

There will be prizes for the writer who can transmit the best meals. Michelin will offer stars. Writers will be celebrated for their meal stories, how they are able to change a bit of air pushed out of someone’s lungs, past their vocal chords, through their lips, into the best feast someone has ever experienced. They will become famous for gustatory alchemy, offering the world a feast of words.