Rewrites

My novel, because I’m writing a novel, is in rewrites. This is my fourth big revision with a wonderful editor helping me work through it. I’m excited but a bit scared, and I’ll have to go at it full on if I want this story to be the best it can be.

I also did some rewrites in my head recently. I was complaining about people to myself, annoying people or people who I love who I was thinking weren’t…weren’t the way I wanted them to be. However I managed to look at every complaint I had about someone else and apply it to myself, to see if I was up to my own standards and…er…not so much.

So I need to start living up to my own criteria. I need to help out more, be kinder, put my money where my mouth is and that sort of thing. So I signed up for something extra at work next week, just to help out. I’ll also take on an apprentice next year. I still do my volunteering with the climbing club. That’s a start.

Usually people rewrite their own history to feel better about themselves. We are always perfect and perfectly understandable in our own minds. It’s hard to remember that sometimes were were bitchy, or uncompromising (when it would have been simpler to back down), or that we got angry about stupid things.

I think we need to keep doing rewrites not to erase how awful we might have been in the past, but to help us keep trying to make our story into a better one.